Shutting myself

Yes, I feel like shutting myself up. Life is miserable where your so call best friends are having no time for you and even if they have, what we do are simple dinner. Cant I have friends that I can go out and play with, go travel together, have WHOLE DAY TO MYSELF and enjoy. I am so sick and tired of really meeting one by one. All got husband or boyfriends. I ask myself, where do I stand in my friend's life. Friend, is it just a touch and go?
I envy those who have friends. I wonder HOW THE HELL they have time for others, not me. Worst, my current job are in shift basis. I am not childish because I SERIOUSLY do need friends to give me their time, and not just simple dinner. I need one whole day, a whole day relaxation..
At last, my long awaited holiday (since 2008) has been here. I am going to Taiwan this Sept with a poly friend. U see, thats how pathetic it is. Why cant I have bunch of friends to go overseas with? Its like stages of life. First stage, you rely on friends. Second stage, once you have a boyfriend, at times you rely on friends for gossiping and nagging about the boyfriends. Third stage, when married, ALL NO TIME, dont even think abt having their weekend to be spent with you. Fourth stage, once they have babies, THATS IT, friends are gone forever because they will only have families in their heart.
I am so tired, so sian, so pek cek, so feel like just cutting off ties with everyone because it is a vicious cycle to a person like me, whereby I am not going to or any chance I will get myself a boyfriend or married.
Cut ties..... Its time before the fourth stage reaches.

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